It had been 576 days since my last live gig (not that I was counting or anything) and I will admit to a bit of trepidation. Since the easing of lockdown I’ve experienced having dinner in a pub that the punters were acting as if COVID had never happened, but to counter that I’ve also had pleasant experiences elsewhere when everyone was still acting with a air of caution and sensibility.
In fact, I’d been in Perth for a couple of days with work and on my way home, tired and lethargic, I almost talked myself into not going. Thankfully, I didn’t take that course of action, gave myself a shake and jumped in the car to Paisley.
The Bungalow had changed since I was last there, the stage now along the back wall as you enter, I was also pleased to see that most people were in their own little groups around tables and there was plenty of space for me to stand inconspicuously near the bar and have plenty of space around me. I donned my mask as I entered, buying myself a Heineken 0.0 (surprisingly nice) and found myself a space to stand.
Unfortunately COVID had already cast its shadow on the evening impacting both support bands, the DF118s having had to pull out altogether, and The Poachers reduced to Neil performing solo on acoustic guitar. A valiant effort it was too, going down a storm with those gathered, warming us up nicely for the main event.
Prior to that main event, I watched Hugh mingle and greet virtually everyone in the venue personally, a nice gesture from a genuinely lovely bloke. First time I’ve seen him since potentially the 1990’s at a gig in what might have been Pandora’s on Victoria Road (my memory isn’t what it used to be) it was nice to be re-aquainted as if the last 30 years hadn’t happened. Then when I saw him laying out a judge’s wig and robes on the stage, I knew all was going to be well with the world.
In true Hugh Reed fashion the “intro tape” was a video clip of a Chinese TV presenter (Hugh lived in China for several years) with her words “translated” into English in humorous fashion.
The entertainment began in typical style, the years stripping away before my eyes as the performance was just as I remember it from all those years ago. An almost literal punch to the solar plexus as Hugh stormed the venue in his outsize boxing gloves and dark glasses swinging at anyone and everyone in his wake…
For anyone who hasn’t seen the band before, a Hugh Reed and the Velvet Underpants gig is like no other gig you’ve ever been to. This isn’t just a band of five guys plying their trade from the stage. Oh no. A Hugh Reed gig is full on panto cabaret, with more costume changes than Beyonce and Michael Jackson put together. Change outfits between songs? Pah! Hugh does several costume changes WITHIN one song – the classic Six to Wan including football fan, polis man, judge, prisoner…. A Hugh Reed gig is a fully immersive interactive experience, if you don’t want to be involved – stand far back.
What do you mean? I hear you cry. Well there are the aforementioned boxing gloves for starters, getting battered with a truncheon, having Hugh on your table, swinging a teddy around his head (or a lamp), Hugh running around the venue and rolling on the floor with light up glasses on, Hugh wearing a Henry vacuum cleaner on his head, chucking life-size cuddly orang-utans into the crowd… need I go on?
To be honest, if I didn’t know any better I’d say that Viv Reeves and Bob Mortimer got all their ideas for surreal visual gags from Hugh. You really have to see it to understand…
The crowd were treated to the familiar Hugh Reed repertoire – the previously mentioned Six to Wan, a tale of going from watching the Old Firm to being banged up, all with the odds always stacked against him. You guessed it – 6 to 1. The ode to Scotland’s other national drink Barr’s Irn Bru. The snappily titled If You Don’t Kiss Me I’ll Shoot Myself and This Time I Won’t Miss. The pastiche of James Brown’s Living in America, Say It Loud We’re Scot’s and Proud with its cunning refrain of “I live in Mount Florida”. And talking of Glasgow areas, there is the “new” song I Wish They All Could Be Glasgow Girls, including, wait for it…. Cath Cart, Penni Lee and Mary Hill.
And of course there were the perennial favourites, Stamp Collecting and I’ve Just Had My Car Nicked, each verse building and adding an element each time, Hugh’s unfortunate victim stunned as he was put on the spot with a microphone shoved in his face (the encore was the alternate version – I’ve Just Had My Pint Nicked and he redeemed himself perfectly!)
I should take a moment here to mention the band, not to be overshadowed by the entertaining tomfoolery from the frontman, the band are tight as fuck, demonstrating a finesse and flair, each member of the band accomplished in their art and putting their hand to a variety of different styles – rockabilly (with a wee nod to Stray Cat Strut), punk, funk – you name it we got it, and with enough opportunity for each band member to shine in their own right.
I left the gig grinning from ear to ear like the Cheshire Cat. If you leave a Hugh Reed gig failing to have been entertained, who even are you? Are you human? There must something far wrong with you. If you get the chance to experience a Hugh Reed gig, go, tick it off your bucket list. Its like a form of therapy for the spirit.
Great to hear and see history repeating there in Scotland. As a friend of Hugh’s here in China, it’s fun to know that he can pick up where he left off in his long entertainment career. He has made a name in Beijing with his wild Scottish accent and students aren’t the same in english classes. Hope all goes well and the gathering wasn’t a super spreader. Take care