Once again, Mental Health Awareness Day/Week has crept up us. It is still a shame that we have a focus like this on Mental Health, that it isn’t yet something that is fully accepted into society and people can speak openly in social or work situations without others judging, outwardly or inwardly, or experiencing feelings of guilt or embarrassment. Having said that, I know there are inroads being made and the more people that do feel they can speak up, the better. More and more organisations are seeing the benefit of having policies around Mental Health and making workplaces safe spaces where people get the support they require rather than being judged or labelled as lazy, or an absence statistic that needs dealt with.
I have written several times about my personal experience with mental health, not to garner sympathy from any quarters, but to add my voice to the many others who are prepared to share stories. Like many others, I want to encourage people to speak about their experiences, to accept themselves and not feel ashamed or embarrassed about what they battle with on a day to day basis. I don’t want people to be made to feel weak or incapable, to be overlooked by others or experience prejudice as a result, not to hear phrases like “pull yourself together”, “man up” or “what have you got to be depressed about”?
Speak Out
The more people who speak out, the more there will be acceptance that mental health is a part of everyone’s make-up, and we won’t need days or weeks like this to mark the fact that we are all human and experience ill health physically or mentally. Everyone has mental health, and everyone is impacted differently, just as they are with physical health, no-one should be treated differently or negatively due to these differences.
Statistically, approximately 1 in 4 people experience a mental health problem at some point in their lifetime and at any one time approximately 1 in 6 people have a mental health problem. So, if you aren’t impacted personally, day in day out you will be talking to people or sitting next to them at work that will be impacted in some way.
Similar to physical illnesses, there is not one single cure or panacea, people with heart conditions may be subject to a cocktail of different tablets to control this, doctors may have to tweak dosages and medicines over time to ensure the patient is receiving the right levels of what they need to control their conditions allowing them to live a normal life.
In this aspect, mental health issues should be treated no differently in terms of attitudes. What works for one person may not work for the next. Each person needs the specific tailored support and treatment that works for them.
Small Steps
I’m no doctor or psychologist, I can’t recommend the best course of action for anyone. All I can do is tell my own story, I can share what has worked for me, even what hasn’t worked for me in the hope that, if nothing else, one other person can relate and maybe feel more comfortable in themselves, if it encourages that person to talk to someone – anyone – about their own mental health, small steps along the road… if it gives one person the impetus to start to seek support and understand what it might take for them to feel better, that is enough.
Backwards to move forward
Sometimes though, it takes a backwards step to move forward. I’ve talked before about accepting myself for who I am, understanding that I am okay with living with my imperfections and dealing, on a daily basis, with my own anxieties and depressive tendencies, knowing that I have a toolbox techniques in place that can help me deal with these.
Recently, I came to the realisation that maybe I hadn’t accepted who I was and wasn’t as comfortable with who I am as I thought. I had been for a few visits to the doctor over several months weaning myself off anti-depressants and beta blockers. Over time, my dosages came down, until eventually I was “drug free”. At the time, I felt this was an achievement, that this was something to be celebrated.
Unfortunately, that feeling was relatively short-lived. After a while, I felt myself toiling again, struggling to deal with the challenges my own brain presents me with. Yes, I have a variety of tools in my toolbox to help me confront these, of dealing with the anxieties, of counteracting the depressive thoughts, but I found it increasingly tiring resisting these, and I was less and less able to overcome them, fighting them on a daily basis was wearing me down and something was going to give. Cracks started showing again. If I was to take a positive from it, it was the self-awareness and recognition of the road I was on and the tunnel I was going down again, I was pleased that I had the ability to talk to my wife about it, and to know that she had recognised the signs too.
Accept who you are
I realised, no matter how much I had convinced myself otherwise, I hadn’t really accepted myself for who I was. Otherwise, would I have been so desperate to be free from anti-depressants or other drugs? If I was comfortable in who I was, I would have accepted that they were part of what helped me to be who I need to be on a day to day basis to face the world.
A friend messaged me recently and as part of our conversation, they made a comparison. No-one bats an eyelid if someone with asthma is on a combination of drugs and therapies to control their asthma, in fact they may be deemed as irresponsible if they didn’t take their meds. Why should anyone think differently for taking medication or drugs to help them stay in control of their mental health?
Since then, I have been back to see my doctor and as a result of conversations, I am back on anti-depressants. It is early days yet, but I will revisit him to discuss what is the best next step. On reflection, I don’t feel embarrassed, or ashamed, I don’t feel down on myself that I have had to take this course of action. I feel glad that I have done something to deal with it, something that will help me live a normal life and one that won’t have a negative impact on my loved ones, friends and colleagues around me.
Barriers are continually breaking down and stigma reducing, but my own example shows there still is a way to go to ensure no-one is embarrassed in themselves or feels uncomfortable about asking for help in dealing with any mental health issues impacting them.
Talk…and listen
So, I would encourage others to share their stories, talk to people about your experiences, and look out for your friends and family. To coin an old cliched phrase, It IS good to talk, but it is also good to listen. Or even just be there. We should always bear this in mind, not just in this Mental Health Awareness Week, but 365 days a year. But, if marking it in this way, and raising the awareness makes a difference to even one person, it is worthwhile.