I cant believe it’s been nearly six years since the band’s last album, the wonderful The Private Memoirs and Confessions of The Just Joans, but believe me, the wait for Romantic Visions of Scotland from Scotland’s answer The Smiths meets The Beautiful South (…and yes I know the current incarnation of The Beautiful South includes Scot Rianne Downey) has been well worth the wait. What is on offer here on this tongue in cheek titled album is eleven aural equivalents to Allan Bennett kitchen sink dramas, each individual vignette is an everyday tale of life in the world of The Just Joans and in turn each is a perfectly formed and utterly relatable microcosm of the day to day realities of life in the West of Scotland.
In anyone else’s hands the subject matter of the songs could be looked upon as mundane, but when you put tales like these in the hands of The Just Joans their unique mix of sardonic humour, gritty realism and genuine emotion make these songs an essential listen, each song drawing you into their world and with the ability to make you laugh and cry, often within the same song.
The album opens at a brisk pace with Think Fast, Make Conversation, a song about the misfortune we’ve all experienced, of meeting someone we barely know and having to make, heaven forbid, the unthinkable small talk with them, the pacey beat of the song is reflective of the racing pulse and heartbeat when you’re under pressure to respond to such a situation. My social anxiety is building and I’m on edge just thinking about it. Talking about bringing back bad memories, Here Come the Rugby Boys, a humorous tale of the protagonist finding himself on a rugby pitch and regretting his life decisions has me feeling PTSD and being back at secondary school in January during the PE block where rugby was on the curriculum, being blind as a bat with my specs off and trying to avoid any of the action (to be fair that was me with any team game in PE, I wasn’t built for sport). I jest of course, it does bring back that memory, but somehow it feels nostalgic rather than anything else, such is the charm and humour that the band manage to pack into their addictive aural tales.
If you’ve ever been a parent, I challenge you not to feel every emotion going when you listen to Limpet, musically this is utterly joyous an upbeat driving rhythm with an uplifting brass section, and you’ll laugh and cringe as you recognise the challenges you faced as new parents, but you’ll cry as you recognise the unconditional love you have for your progeny despite the stress they caused (“I wouldn’t change a thing, but a weekend getting shitfaced would be fun”). Don’t dry your tears just yet, as Drinking on a Weeknight manages to make you laugh uncomfortably at the situation in the song (delete/add your own situation as appropriate) while also tugging at the heartstrings as you feel nothing but empathy for the storyteller in the song, I always seem to manage to find a Twin Peaks reference in music but the underlying melody in this gives me Twin Peaks theme tune vibes…
When I said the content of the songs was relatable I really meant it, and from a personal perspective, none more so than on Back on the Meds, where somehow, the band manage to bring light and shade to a difficult subject and has me wryly smiling despite knowing all too well the shite your own mind and psyche drags you through sometimes, I mean when you rhyme “when thoughts are bouncing round your head and every days a shiter, it’s time to get back on the meds, the days will soon be brighter” how can you not smile? One of the album highlights is their pastiche of that omnipresent 1990s anthem from Ocean Colour Scene, The Day We Missed the Train is packed with regret and opportunities missed, the lyrics painting vivid pictures of young lives full of hopes, only for those hopes to be dashed, the song is packed with little musical references, my favourite being the line borrowed from Springsteen’s Born to Run, with one little word changing the whole perspective “Baby we were Born to Stay…” and the ironic use of the Champagne Supernova harmony to soundtrack what for the protagonists felt more like a damp squib… utter genius.
Most recent single, Oh Veronica, How Right You Are (how an you not love a band with song titles like that?!?) has some particularly witty but scathing lines as a commentary on a middle aged man trying to maintain his youth while failing to maintain a relationship, opening with the couplet “Veronica says she’s never heard of your band, but you look like an arsehole, buy yourself a box of tissues, nobody cares about your issues” and things don’t get better for him throughout the song… The theme of disappointment and dreams quashed carries through the album with the albums title track, a synth driven track reminiscent of early 80s Human League, the theme of the song is “prepare for disappointment and you won’t be disappointed” and with lines like “I had a boyfriend, he was a bellend…” you get the gist of where the rest of the lyrics are taking you. Winner for all out humour goes to Strictly Presbyterian during which I think I laughed out loud a couple of times as the band throws shade at a way of life for some which seems to revel in misery. Penultimate track Everybody’s Moving to Australia has David and Katie questioning why people would move away to somewhere with sun and surf and leave behind such things as “drizzle and bigotry” and wonder if they get sick of all the sun every day…”You’d be better off just staying put” they sing as they point out dangerous spiders and the their ilk.
There is an old adage that says you should keep your best until last, and while to be fair there isn’t a weak song on this album, the epic Say You’ll Never Leave Me (Like He Did) is a case in point, clocking in at just shy of six and a half minutes not a second or a note is wasted as this beautifully melancholic love song of sorts hits you in the feels,. Both lyrically and with it’s affecting melody this is a triumph and there couldn’t be any other way of ending this album as they couldn’t possibly follow this as David and Katie’s vocals blend in bewitching harmony repeating the song’s title “say you’ll never leave me” while the instruments reach a glorious crescendo.
Is it too early to say this is going to be one of the albums of the year for 2026?
Romantic Visions of Scotland | The Just Joans | Fika Recordings