I’m hoping many of you won’t have been in the same position as me, having had the misfortune to hear three monumental fuck ups of Christmas singles. The words-fail-me-how-bad-it-is cover of the greatest Christmas song of all, Fairytale of New York by Jon Bon Jovi, talent vacuum Gemma Collins (I’m hoping most of you don’t actually know who she is, your life will be better for not knowing) duetting with Darren Day. Finally, the cheeky chappie that I wouldn’t tire of smacking in the face with a shovel, Robbie fucking Williams, and his Christmas song, the lyrics of which seem to have been written by a chimpanzee who has an extremely limited vocabulary and has learned most of their words and phrases from watching a succession of idiots on daily COVID 19 briefings, cobbling them together clumsily in a vain attempt to create a song.
After that lot I really needed something to renew my festive cheer. Thankfully there have also been a cornucopia of top-quality Christmas songs released this year.
Mitchell Museum
May as well start with the eccentric, Glasgow’s Mitchell Museum throw their song I Wish I Was More George Bailey into the ring. I couldn’t bypass this one given It’s a Wonderful Life is my all-time favourite movie. With its idiosyncrasy and strange backwards sounding melody the song is reminiscent of the more oddball end of the likes of Flaming Lips and Mercury Rev.
Mitchell Museum – Facebook Bandcamp
The Myrrhderers
Shift up a few gears for The Myrrhderers with their high adrenaline US skate-punk take on five traditional carols/classics. Pick of the bunch for me is the final track, Carol of the Bells.
The Myrrhderers Bandcamp
Jack Blackman and the Beautiful Wreck
Jack Blackman and the Beautiful Wreck brings a blast of rootsy guitar to the feast, wishing that Christmas was over on I Wish it wasSummer (at Christmastime). All proceeds from the sale of the track will go to Crisis.
Jack Blackman Facebook Website
Ryan Hamilton & Emily Capell
Ryan Hamilton (leader of the Harlequin Ghosts) continues the country roots feel, leaving his band aside for a beautiful duet, Christmas Wish with Emily Capell.
Ryan Hamilton Website Bandcamp
Rich Richards (We Three Kings)
Also going for a solo effort is Rich Richards from scuzzy Manc rockers We Free Kings with his fuzzed up take on Santa Claus is Coming to Town.
We Three Kings Facebook
Monsterpop
Monsterpop, the power pop incarnation of Jimmy Devlin, he of the massive CV that would need a blog of its own to list, has his third EP out on bandcamp. The lead track an infectious original composition, with a rifftastic version of Little Drummer Boy backing it up and the addition of a crunching cover of The Ramones Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want to Fight) sent to any purchasers of the EP as an extra track.
Monsterpop – Facebook Bandcamp
Rudebeard
Rudebeard leave their raucous party ska behind for their reflection on the year, “20 20”. When some Christmas songs put on the rose tinted glasses to paint a picture of joy and happiness, this look back (and forward) is well and truly rooted in reality. However bad this year has got, it has been a great year for music from Rudebeard.
Living Body
Leeds based Living Body are altogether more subdued on their offering. Theirs is an affecting song recognising how difficult 2020 has been for so many people and how Christmas can exacerbate these feelings.
100% of Living Body Bandcamp sales go to Leeds Survivor-Led Crisis Service. (Please see the end of this blog for details of support if you are struggling and feel suicidal)
Jim Bob
Ex Carter USM frontman Jim Bob releases TRUCE from his 2020 masterpiece Pop Up as his contribution to Christmas singles for the end of this challenging year. As usual, a cleverly worded comment on a divided society coming together using as a template, WW1 and the Christmas Day truce between British and German soldiers.
Carter USM Facebook
The Martial Arts
I feel I should lighten the mood, and so to The Martial Arts and their 4 track EP, Christmas with The Martial Arts. Two original tracks, Stockings and Snow Flakes and two covers, My Christmas Was in June (Ze Malibu Kids) and Blinded By the Night (Molly Nilsson) all four are utterly joyous poptastic celebrations of life, I challenge you to listen to these four tracks and not end up with a huge grin stretching from ear to ear.
The Martial Arts Facebook Bandcamp
Carla J Easton
The Martial Arts Paul Kelly has a collaborative link with the next offering too, most recently having played on several tracks on Carla J Easton’s 2020 magnificent pop masterpiece, her album Weirdo. Her 3 track EP links with the album in its title, A Very Weird Christmas. The lead track celebrates the joy of celebrating Christmas with her (late) cat Bez. The other two tracks feature another musical Kelly virtuoso, this time it is the legendary Eugene of The Vaselines and Captain America/Eugenius fame.
Carla J Easton Facebook Bandcamp
Shot Balowski
Pick of the bunch for me though is the does what is says on the tin effort from Shot Balowski. If you are of a certain vintage, their Christmas offering Xmas Glam Bang will drag you right back to the 70s and the Christmases of your childhood. The lyrics had several nods to the classic Christmas songs of the time with a few wry observational lyrics thrown in for good measure. Glorious. All proceeds to Carlisle Food Bank.
Shot Balowski Facebook Bandcamp
For now though, the last word is with Living Body….
Christmas can be an especially difficult and lonely time for many. These feelings shouldn’t be ignored. If you’re struggling, please contact:
Samaritans: www.samaritans.org
Phone (available 24 hours a day): 116 123
CALM: www.thecalmzone.net
– Helpline (5pm-midnight): 0800 58 58 58
– Webchat: www.thecalmzone.net/help/get-help/
MIND: www.mind.org.uk
– Helpline (Christmas hours vary): 0300 123 3393
– Email: info@mind.org.uk
– Text: 86463
Papyrus (for people under 35): www.papyrus-uk.org
– Phone (9am-midnight): 0800 068 4141
– Email: pat@papyrus-uk.org
– Text: 07860039967